Faded Memories

There used to be a time when a camera was my closest confidante. It saw me go through a rollercoaster ride of emotions; saw me look for beauty in the littlest things; and saw me experiment not just with the camera but myself. Images can only portray what have inspired these words, so here they are.

Dixon Dixon Dixon Dixon

That's the sound of trippy techno/house music or whatever the genre is. Dixon Dixon Dixon Dixon. Hehe.

Just came back from Palate Palette where Epic Tribe was playing. They were okay. I prefer Lapsap cause they play an awesome array of music mixed with electrooo...

Anywho, I went to see an interesting play today at the Emergency Fest at The Annexe. Quite interesting and insightful. Went for a curatorial tour too. Normie was the curator for the small group I was in.

I'm so proud of him. He reminds me of an ideal I aim for and something everyone else should hold dearly and that's passion. With passion comes ambition and ambition drives force and force does all the hard labour and the hard labour reaps rewards.

I see a lot of people without passion. People who work routine (see: mundane) day jobs and don't strive for anything else other than earning money to pay for the bills, the family, the mistress, etc.

It seems so two-dimensional chasing such petty things instead of going after the bigger picture and looking for that "flame". You can easily tell a passionate person from one that isn't. A person without much passion asks superficial and irrelevant questions, etc etc.

Anyway, I'm done ranting and raving. It's time for me to get to bed and zonk out.

Peace.

Lessons Learnt #1

I've just come back from an open house half an hour ago and it was quite the event I needed to attend to jumpstart my brain. I haven't been feeling sharp as of late. Not quite sure why. Perhaps, I have not been stimulating my brain enough by interacting with different sorts of people so it's gotten pretty sluggish. Haih. Don't like when that happens.

Anyhow, I haven't been doing this in awhile - evaluating my whole day. Listening, Observing, Questioning and Evaluating are so important and it's terrible that I've let that belt loosen. It's time to tighten that belt and pull my socks up. Need to make it a habit to, if not physically evaluate here, at least mentally or verbally evaluate how my day went, lessons learnt, compartmentalise and filter out junk so I have more space to store important information. I realise I do more of listening and soaking in information and less of evaluating. The evaluation part is just as important, without evaluation, when someone asks me an important question I will answer with words that lack weight and I lose substance.

Let's cut to the grit - Lesson's Laura's Learnt (Oooh, alliteration! Fancy! =p)

In no particular order...

Profiling
You can tell a lot about a person with the way they act, the clothes / accesories they wear, the language they speak, their idosyncrasies / mannerisms, the people they associate with, how they associate with certain people. Actually, I know all this so it's not really a lesson for me. Just a reminder. Hehe.

Age Before Beauty Jokes
Don't do it around my boss. Lol. Sometimes it's hard not to make jokes about my boss in front of him especially when he's so friendly. Well, either way, I hope he realised it as a joke but from now on, to be safe, I think I'll stray away from making fun of my boss at all. (But he can be such a clown! How can I not?! Bosses can be so confusing sometimes. Haih. Honesty is not always the best policy.)

Initiative & Second Guessing
Never wait to be introduced, just introduce yourself. I always make this mistake of waiting to be introduced and end up regretting it later because I fail to make a great first impression. Never second guess, just do it Laura! JUST DO IT! Nevermind, I shouldn't be too hard on myself. First time, surveying the scene and laying low is the best so that the next time around I can start pulling my punches and KO-ing people with my awesomeness. Haha. I'm so full of myself, I know.

Honesty VS Bullshit
I've been having a problem lately trying to figure out when to be honest and when to bullshit when it comes to work and clients but I think I've finally got it, I think. Be honest up-front and bullshit later after the job has been secured? Agh, I don't know. I have this ethic that straddles both my personal and professional life - 70% honesty, 20% bullshit. Because I really think there's no point in being dishonest especially when you get an instinct that being dishonest is going to have a bad consequence. I see a client relationship like a work relationship. You've got to be honest. Hm, actually now that I think of it, it really depends on the client. Whether the client wants you to be honest or not and knowing whether the client means what he says when he wants you to be honest. If he sounds hesitant, he obviously is afraid to know the truth. Am I right? Hm, this is certainly an interesting conversation / debate to have in the future.

The Power of Word-of-Mouth
Know who to talk to, what to say, when to say it, where to say it and why because at the end of the day, people talk. And if you do it well, in the right circumstances, the word gets passed on incredibly effectively.

Strategy
There is a strategy for everything. I really need to pick up a book of Sun Tzu's Art of War and read up on Blue Ocean Strategy.

Difference
Reminder: Do something DIFFERENT everyday!

This is so great. I feel so pumped right now! Woohoo!
*has crazy grin plastered on face which kinda hurts*

Happy Birthday Teddy Bear <3

when it's been hours, even days
step into vision, smile on your face
kiss me, pull me, warm embrace
melting, all my worries away

when i ache, hands are ready
weak and tired, keep me steady
i'm so sorry it gets so sweaty
in my room where two fans sway

well, it's no matter. don't fuss. let go.
in your arms, kiss me soft and slow
with warmth upon my skin, i know
the perfect way to end my day


© 2008 Lauralyn Silva. All rights reserved.



Mahal kita.
Iniibig kita.
Minamahal kita.
Je t'aime.
Ngo ai ni.
Wo ai ni.
Te amo.
Te quiero.
Aku cinta padamu.

I love you.

EDIT: Poem revised.

Helpless in helping myself

I realise that only after I can be fully financially-independent - buy my own car, pay a whole apartment's monthly rent (plus electricity/phone/water bills) or even treat myself and a loved one to a holiday in one of my dream destinations - I'll always have those gloomy moments like the one I'm having now. (FYI, tried to take my mind off of it with How I Met Your Mother Season Two. Temporal happiness.)

I'm so angry because I feel so helpless knowing that there will be a few more days like today where I find myself tired after a hard day's work and just want to go home to have a lovely dinner and crawl into my comfy bed. Yet I can't, because it's raining and I'm carrying two bags (one with a laptop), it's 7.30pm, I'm a girl and it's hard to get cabs in that area (even worse, it's Puasa month). The worst part is, you have to then depend on calling on someone whom you know won't help you but you call them with false hopes and they flat-out reject the idea of them picking you up. (Mind you, it's only a 10 minute drive. TEN MINUTE.)

So anyways, I hate depending on people. Most of all, I hate waiting, ALONE, when I'm tired and hungry and in need of some love and because I don't have enough money to buy myself a freaking car, so I can just HELP MYSELF. That's all I want to do and I can't even do it right.

Myers-Briggs Personality Test

Introvert, iNtuitive, Feeler, Judger (INFJ)
INFJs represent between 1 and 3% of the U.S. Population

INFJs inhabit a world of ideas. They are independent, original thinkers driven by their strong feelings, and personal integrity. Sensitive, committed, hardworking, and perceptive, INFJs are often excellent listeners, skilled at generating enlightened and creative solutions to people’s problems. Thoughtful and careful decision makers, INFJs prefer to have plenty of time to let ideas “percolate” before taking action. Because they value harmony and agreement, INFJs like to persuade others of the validity of their viewpoint. They win the cooperation of others by using approval and praise, rather than argument or intimidation. INFJs go to great lengths to promote fellowship and avoid conflict. They are also often perfectionists highly focused, and driven to accomplish their goals. Rather formal and reserved, INFJs can be difficult to read, but it is critically important to them that their values, needs and concerns be understood and respected.

INFJs Tend To Be:

• Driven by their integrity which inspires people to value their ideas
• Patient listeners; empathetic & able to anticipate others' needs
• Creative problem solvers who offer a unique perspective
• Quick to understand complex concepts & see big picture possibilities
• Independent with a strong drive to be productive & meet goals
• Naturally gifted at helping others find solutions or develop their fullest potential


Career Satisfiers
All people are most satisfied and successful when using their natural talents in an environment that is consistent with their personality preferences and values. Research shows that INFJs are most satisfied by jobs that provide the following:

• Opportunities to use their creativity to find solutions that help people achieve their fullest potential
• Supportive, meaningful relationships with colleagues & co-workers
• A tension-free, collaborative work environment where personal & professional growth are encouraged
• Intellectual challenges & exposure to new ideas & solutions
• The opportunity to work independently & one-on-one most days

"Stuff"

ANOTHER GREAT RERUN FROM DAILY DOSES PAST – 2006 IN MY INBOX

I admit it. I have had enough. I have had enough of that commercial where the lady is packing and has an Aha! Moment, which I paraphrase: "Then suddenly I realized - this isn't just stuff. It's our life."

That's all very fine, except for one minor detail. It IS just stuff, and it is NOT her life.

Let's face it, most of us do get way, way too attached to material things such as mementos and comforts, and sometimes just having stuff around even with no use or no meaning. But if a hurricane blew all the "stuff" away tomorrow and you had to start over, you would still be left with absolutely everything that counts:

The people you love

Your knowledge

Your values

Your personality

Your experience

You might miss some of the most cherished items, but your life would be no less rich for the missing stuff. Let's try not to confuse "stuff" with "our life".

---

And that is why I'm not materialistic. That is why I don't pine over that one red trenchcoat I wanted to buy but didn't. Most of the things I buy whether it comes to buying things for myself, for others are practical. Even the gifts I buy are pretty practical. It's easy for me to not buy clothes and such on impulse when I'm broke. Except, my only weakness is food and books. Good food and a variety of good wholesome books. Haih. My kryptonite.